ALONE TOGETHER[spacer height="20px"]
One of my life goals and dreams was always mixing my love of photography with traveling. I've worked on that, day after day and year after year and finally the dream comes true but then I have to face a new reality, 'no pain no gain', my chance of travelling means getting away from my comfort zone - my family.
I powered through, with my camera on board, no matter what the difficulties would be then suddenly... Everything is on hold.
In March 2020, only one month after my trials of adapting to a new life in South Africa, a global quarantine started and of course a study suspension too.
My life’s traffic lights turned all red... Coronavirus took the lead... a moment of silence outside with so much noise inside... revising my decision, was it the right one to take?
A mix of fear, confusion and loneliness. I badly miss my family, my old self and my old dream as I thought it would be. Zooming out of my world, country, family and zooming in you will see me alone in a room in South Africa, living or trying to... spending most of my time on the internet which has become an essential and nearly my whole life!
I sometimes talk to family and friends with a loud voice inside me sometimes drowning me out and other times telling me that corona will disappear and the sun will soon break over the darkness
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Lockdown makes a big distance between everything in my life.
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There is no way out from here. It is difficult now because my outside source is now my danger zone. It has become annoying. As I am inside, I try to look around at home for any reflections that once represented our outside everyday reality.
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I spend a lot of time in front of my screens to keep ties with the ones I love and also to reassure myself that we are still connected.
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The kitchen has become our refuge spot at home and a safe place.
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I am feeling disorientated. I think a lot about making the right decisions, because you never know where your decisions will lead you until you take them. After Coronavirus, I have started questioning my decision to be away from my family during these times. I am so confused, afraid and have a lot of mixed feelings about the nightmare we are waiting on and what the world is witnessing right now.
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Allah has in his hands everything.
We don’t own anything, it is only by our prayers that this and the coming too shall pass.